Saturday, December 29, 2012

Fabulous Guest Romance Author: Lillian Grant

Not Always the Clown

I love writing erotic romantic comedy but it comes at a price. At my local writers’ group I have a reputation for being the one to say what other people are thinking. Sexual innuendo and double entendres fall from my mouth without me even thinking about it. However, Lillian Grant is my alter ego. She’s funny, sassy, not afraid to be the woman I would love to be. Everyone likes her and thinks she’s a blast.

However, she’s not the only me. Sometimes I wish I could leave her at home. Like most comedians I’m not funny all the time. I can’t be the clown for everyone. The real me has a day job in a very uptight profession where the likes of male strippers, three way sexual relationships and books full of sexy humor would freak people out.

The real me is happily married with kids and even when I am being the real me, sometimes I find myself having to hold Lillian back. A comment is made and she really wants to respond, to say something that would make my work colleagues suck in a lungful of air. Fortunately, Lillian is usually happy to only be the clown in the pages of my books where her imagination has free reign to invent crazy old ladies, sexually repressed mothers, sexual disasters and ultimately a happy ever after. Or in the company of other writers who know about my crazy other side. Maybe one day I will retire from the uptight profession and let Lillian lead the way. Until then I’ll gladly let her control my laptop and giggle at the crazy she creates, especially if her hero is a sultry, sexy, Irish Male Stripper.

undefinedLet me introduce you to Lillian’s latest muse, Michael Monaghan.

One man. One sensual dance. One night only to prove his love.

Michael wants Maggie. Maggie has Sam. Two’s company, three’s a crowd.

Years ago, Maggie tried to seduce Michael Monaghan, only to have her efforts rebuffed. Now she’s older, wiser, happily in love with Sam Stephens, and determined to keep her distance from Michael.

Michael Monaghan, hot male stripper, has all manner of women falling at his feet, except Maggie.  All he can do is watch from afar as Sam Stephens wins the heart of the one woman he really wants.

Sam Stephens is just tired of Michael watching Maggie’s every move.

Now there’s trouble with a capital T! Maggie’s Great-Aunt Maud has run off to Ireland with Michael’s Uncle Declan. Maggie needs to get to Aunt Maud and talk some sense into her before Declan’s gun-totting wife catches up with them. With Michael and Maggie off to Ireland together, Sam isn’t about to be left behind.

Tracking down the runaway lovers is complicated by the coldest winter in Dublin in years. With Michael, Maggie and Sam stuck in a house with only one bedroom, simmering sexual tension starts to boil over.

Michael wants Maggie. Maggie isn’t sure what she wants. Sam just wants to punch Michael in the nose.

Two’s company; three could be something else altogether.

Shannon scowled at the glasses with the stupid colored umbrellas as Pete placed them on her tray. Thursday was her night off. They never opened on Thursdays. She had plans to visit a club in one of London’s less seedy areas, and she was an exotic dancer not a fucking waitress.

Pete put the last drink down. “Table eight.”

“It won’t work.”

He leaned on the bar and leered at her boobs before running a finger along the edge of her
skimpy bikini top, teasing the edge of a barely covered nipple. “We’ll see.”

She shifted out of reach. Pete disgusted her, and the more she resisted the more he seemed to want her. Not that it stopped him trying to whore her out to customers. She didn’t do sex for money, and she didn’t do sex with Pete, period. Fortunately, she pulled a big enough crowd that he wouldn’t dare get rid of her for refusing his gross seduction techniques.

“Women won’t pay to see men take off their clothes.”

Pete glanced over her shoulder. “You want to tell them that?”

“You let them in for fucking free.”

“They’re paying for drinks, aren’t they? Or they would be if you’d fucking deliver them. Chop, chop. The show’s about to start.”

“I bet you’ve got some ugly old bloke with shriveled bollocks who won’t even flop his sad dick out.”

Pete laughed. “You’ll see. Now move it.”

Shannon delivered the drinks with a forced smile on her face, and then scooted to the back of the room to join Lisa who was already slacking off. The brunette passed Shannon a cigarette and lit it for her before blowing smoke rings. Shannon inhaled deeply and sighed as the nicotine hit her bloodstream. “Have you seen the hired naked dick?”

Lisa shook her head. “Nope, Pete’s had him under wraps. Rumor I heard was that he’s foreign and he’s never taken his clothes off in front of an audience before.”

Shannon giggled. “Oh God, this could be a right laugh if he gets stage fright. His dick’ll shrivel up. We’ll need a magnifying glass to find it.”

Pete came to stand behind them, and Shannon edged away as his fingers brushed her arse. The lights dimmed and the room was plunged into darkness. A hush fell over the crowd and then a deep guitar wail filled the air. A single spotlight hit the stage. Shannon’s stripper pole had been transformed into a lamppost. As the strains of Gary Moore’s Parisienne Walkways mesmerized the crowd a barefoot male stepped into the light, resplendent in top hat and tails, with a cane and gloves completing his ensemble. He lifted his head to reveal shoulder-length dark hair, chiseled features and full lips. He gave off an air of sexy disinterest at being the center of attention. His dark eyes scanned the crowd as he tossed the cane to someone offstage and then grabbed the lamppost with one hand and spun around in a twirl so low his hair almost brushed the timber floor.

Women yelled and whistled as he danced in front of the pole and began to remove his clothes. His hips moved in time with the music and the lamppost all but became his lover as his gloves, jacket, shirt and pants were tossed aside. He slid his hands over his body.
Shannon’s skin warmed and her nipples pebbled as she imagined him touching her like that.

Standing in only a top hat and G-string, he moved to the music with a grace that made Shannon catch her breath. He was six-feet tall, studly and bad boy fucking awesome. When the guitar wailed on a single note the stripper stopped, dropped his head, and held his hat in front of his crotch. The air rippled with tension and Shannon licked her lips as she wondered if he would really go the full monty. As the note ended he tugged his G-string off, and Shannon held her breath. The song and the room fell completely silent for a heartbeat, and when the guitar riff echoed around the room he flipped the hat into his right hand and rolled it up his arm to land perfectly on his head. He spread his arms wide and tipped his head back to give all the ladies an eyeful of his junk. Shannon wasn’t the only one to wolf whistle.

Lisa coughed on her drink. “Fuck. He’s hung like a fucking horse.” She fumbled with her cigarette packet, trying to pull out another smoke, and Shannon could hardly blame her.

The song continued and he dropped his hands and lifted his head. From the low moans in the room, Shannon was sure she wasn’t the only one who felt thoroughly shagged by the stranger on stage. His dark eyes locked with Shannon’s. He smiled, and she swallowed as a shiver rippled up her spine and her panties dampened. “He’s fucking magnificent. Who is he?”

Pete’s breath warmed the back of her neck. “His name’s Michael Monaghan.”


Thursday, December 20, 2012

Blogging Mechanic Panic

I have to admit that I'm still very new to blogging. I'm definitely getting better at it with each post but sometimes the mechanics escape me. For instance, I recently put up a guest author's blog, but accidentally posted it today rather than on a later scheduled date. Yes, dumb me pushed the 'publish' button before setting the post on the schedule, so the blog posted right away for a few minutes. I panicked, because I do that when something technolog-ish goes wrong, and managed to knock myself off the internet in my hurry to erase the post.

It matters a great deal to me that things go correctly when I have a guest author. I work hard to make sure their post is set up nicely and that their book covers are displayed correctly. It's a matter of respect that I take the time to do this right.

And so back to the story; I got back on the internet, signed into Blogger again and managed to delete the post and then repost it with the appropriate scheduled date. *phew* I can't tell you how upset I was to have made such a stupid mistake. The good part of this is that I learned two valuable lessons.

First, when setting up a guest author's post, I will put the post on the schedule before I copy and paste their post to the page. That way if things go wrong, I'll be okay with correcting the post.

Second, I need to accept that sometimes things go wrong and I just have to buckle down and do my best to fix my mistakes. The only mistakes that aren't fixable are those that aren't faced.

I doubt I'll ever be a great computer whiz when it comes to websites or blogging, but so long as I keep my toes in the technology based world, I'll continue to learn and grow. That's the best this little author can do. :)


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A Bad Girl's Letter to Santa

Ever wonder what happens when a bad girl writes a letter to Santa. How does she get him to make an appearance when she's done such naughty things? What sort of naughty things, you ask.

I'm over at Ivy B Misbehavin' today, sharing my letter to Santa to see what others think. Take a peek and let me know your thoughts.

Do you think Santa will have something for me this year or just pass me by?

Merry Christmas all!


Thursday, December 6, 2012

Writer Hell: Two Starting Drafts of the Same Story

Apparently, I like to torture myself when it comes to writing, because I've managed to write two versions of the same story. This is Sindriel's story, for those who aren't familiar; Sindriel was a secondary character in Love's Demon Ways. He's a badass demon bargainer who's almost too sexy for words. 
I first started the sequel which I named "Sin's Way" but I didn't feel like it was going anywhere so I put it aside at 6K words. The heroine was a secondary character who'd had a small part in Love's Demon Ways. I later restarted the story with a different heroine and titled it "Sin's Secret Heart" and that story is currently 22K words. I haven't worked on it for a few months, as I've been busy with another story, but I'm ready to get back into the demon erotic romance again.
It might seem obvious which story to continue, but I've reread the first version "Sin's Way" and like it again. Yes, I'm unhappy at this point.
Should I try to combine these two stories?
There are scenes that I love in each one. I think what hold me back the most is the heroine. I want Sindriel to have a woman who's his equal and yet I'm not sure which heroine that is. I've always been good at writing heroes, but the heroines are another story. They are more complicated. Yes, I just admitted to us women as being more complicated. At least that's what I think of myself. *grin*
Anyway, Sindriel has many facets to his personality and I want to make certain that he falls in love with the right woman. I could throw both women in the story and see what happens, but I think I'd just be borrowing trouble at that point.
Has anyone out there ever written two versions of the same story? What did you do? Perhaps there is a plot element that I'm missing in the story. I'm off to brood on my circumstances for a bit.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Safety Tips for the Holiday Season

We all want to have a great holiday with our loved ones, and that means making it through the sometimes crazy, shopping season. There is an increase in auto accidents as well as personal crimes during this time, so I thought I'd share a few common sense reminders to keep you safer.
1)      Drive defensively. People aren't paying attention to traffic but are instead thinking about where they have to go next. More people knowingly run red lights this time of year and justify the recklessness as "they have somewhere to be."
Don't trust another driver with your life. Drive defensively to make sure you make it home to your family every night. Courtesy to another driver, even if they're rude, could save your life.
2)      Say NO in parking lots. Never under any circumstances allow someone to approach you in a parking lot. If someone is approaching call out to them, "stop right there, what can I help you with?" It attracts the attention of others and puts the person approaching you on notice that you don't want them any closer. I've done this many times during the holidays when people try to approach me for money by my car.

A) Don't open your purse, your wallet or even hunt in your pocket for that spare change. It's all a game, and could get you mugged, even in broad daylight.
B) Have your keys in your hand when you leave the store rather than hunting for them in your purse or pockets. Inattention is dangerous.
C) Your purse isn't worth your life. If the worst happens, please remember that everything in your purse can be replace, your life can not be.

3)      Trust your instincts. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. If someone sitting in their car makes you uncomfortable, return to the store. We often tell ourselves that we're being silly for being creeped out, but it may be just the opposite.

4)      Eye contact. Lastly, I mention eye contact because when people are uncomfortable their natural reaction is to look down and away. This is a universal expression of weakness. Eye contact is powerful. When we look directly at another person, we express fearlessness and strength. This is what you want to project to others at all times.

I hope these tips help you stay safe. If anyone has additional tips they'd like to add in the comments, please feel free to do so. Happy shopping to all!
I'll be back to chatting about books, and writing next week.