This may seem strange that I'm advocating being fake
about anything, but sometimes it's what we as shy/introverted authors must do.
Success comes to those able to show confidence in themselves. We all want to be
confident and successful, and we shouldn't let being an introvert hobble us.
What are some similes of being an introvert? Shy,
timid, quiet, reticent, withdrawn, reclusive, reserved, etc.
Personality wise introverts can come off as uncertain,
indecisive, a homebody, or loner. This may not be who they are, in fact,
introverts love to go out, enjoy concerts and meet up with friends. It's just a
matter of getting to know how to engage an introvert. Hint: Introverts are
better at responding to questions than carrying a conversation.
What are similes of being an extrovert? Outgoing,
social, friendly, gregarious, etc.
Personality wise "extroverts" are seen as
assertive, decision makers, confident, self-starters and successful. They are
the people you want to be around, because they have a liveliness to them that
is attractive.
How
can an introvert author fake being an extrovert?
Tip
1: Own your personal space
In my mind, I always
think that wherever I stand belongs to me, therefore it's easier for me to
engage verbally with another person if I think they are on my territory. I'm
their hostess, and they are my guest. It's better to feel in charge, than to
feel as if you're equals. Being in charge breeds confidence.
Tip
2: Compliment and engage
When we compliment
another person, that other person immediately feels a connection to us. Tell
the potential person you like their earrings, purse or their choice of
something. It starts a dialogue the other person will want to continue. If near
books or in a bookstore, you can comment on how great you feel browsing the
book isles. This will open up questions about you to the person you're speaking
with, and that's your opportunity to present yourself as an author.
Tip
3: Questions are your friend
Smalltalk is a learned
skill, but questions are easier. Ask the person what they like to read. If they
say they don't really read, but prefer watching movies, there is your in. Who
doesn't like movies? Ask what genre of movies they like. The trick isn't to
refer everything back to your book, the trick is to engage in a conversation
that makes the other person (i.e. potential reader) feel important.
We tend to like people
who like us first.
Tip
4: Know your book, know your audience
It's not about selling
your book to them, it's about selling yourself as a person. They've just met a
published author. Let them know what you enjoy writing, and ask what they enjoy
reading. It's not every day one meets a writer, so give them an opportunity to
ask questions about your writing process and your book. Most people have
considered writing a book at some time in their life, few ever do. Even if the
person doesn't read your genre, give them a Q and A experience that will stay
with them after you've separated. Remember to tell them how nice it was to
speak with them, and hand them your business card with an invitation to contact
you.
The trick to being an extrovert is all a matter of
your mind. You're faking it, but only you know that little secret, so go ahead
and engage in a conversation. The first few times may be awkward, but it does
get easier.
Soon such interacts will trigger your mind's ability
to engage another person in conversation in comfort, due to previous
experience, even if being an extrovert is not your nature. Our mind's
understand repetition, which is why the old saying "practice make
perfect" is so adept to how introverts can fake being extroverts.
My day job requires me to be very social and outgoing,
but in truth I'm as much wallpaper as any author in a social/party setting with
strangers. That's why if I hope to engage others in conversation; I must own my
personal space, compliment them, ask questions, and be sure to be proud of
myself as a published author.
Until next time, go forth and chat it up!
Mary
